This is a reblog of Lindsay Ribar’s excellent post, originally here: http://lindsayribar.tumblr.com/post/103578580193/i-read-120-ish-queries-today-and-then-made-a-poem.
Queries are tricky little things; I’ve spent months in Query Letter Hell (yes, that’s its real name) on Absolute Write trying to improve my query skills, and it’s STILL a work in progress. I’ll blog more about publishing later, but I think it’s helpful to have an idea of what not to write.
I gather the author is a literary agent who actually reads queries on a regular basis, so it would be wise to pay attention to this as phrases to avoid in our own queries.
what he doesn’t know is
a classic tale of good versus evil
just your average teenager
fate of all mankind
but unbeknownst to her
beautiful, intelligent, and independent
defy her destiny
action-packed
you said on your website that
corrupt society ruled by
as their relationship deepens
a lifelong love of literature
propelled into a hidden world of
has a deadly secret
character-driven
will never be the same again
less a memoir than an exploration of
always been drawn to
surefire bestseller
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Another list of phrases to avoid by the same author is here: http://lindsayribar.tumblr.com/post/128643874468/i-read-a-few-hundred-queries-last-week-made.
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As far as how to actually write query letters, the best information I know of is here: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/2015/08/wpa.html. Janet Reid is an agent who’s been teaching this process for years. I highly recommend reading the entire blog, but even if you aren’t that dedicated, this post by itself has some valuable information to get you started.
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Avid writer and reader of Faerie tales and noblebright fantasy.
Cathleen Townsend 
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